I just got back form a short trip to Chicago where I stayed with relatives. There is a huge close nit community in the South that I always find fascinating. Somehow people know each other very well.
I went shopping with one of my aunts for that evening’s meal. We visited 3 different stores where she was greeted by her first name. I was surprised when people asked me “aren’t you Teresa la de Alfonso’s daughter?” I was certainly taken back! How in the world could they possibly know who I was? I left Chicago when I was 5!
This is the type of situation that you expect when you visit a tiny “pueblito” (a small rural town) but in Chicago?
Seems that another cultural nuance that we receive from our parents and pass on to our kids is that desire to keep up with what family, extended family, old and new friends are doing. I now live in a primarily non-Hispanic neighborhood and although I know my immediate neighbors, I don’t know what they’re up to, where they are going on vacation, what is happening in their life by the minute or what their kids are studying in college. It’s not lack of interest in my part, it’s just a mutual understanding that we don’t explore further than what you voluntarily share.
In contrast, these ladies I found inside these grocery stores got more information about my family in 2 minutes than my neighbors will ever hear from me. Suddenly, I wished I lived in a community as this one, one that cares about its members, even the ones gone for years! One that does not need Facebook to know what is going on in someone’s life because they care to ask.
But after I was pumped for information, each of these ladies started sharing the latest community “chisme”: how “such and such daughter is no longer with her husband, or who has lost a job, or was having a heated argument in front of her home, or kicked her younger son out of the house” etc. Suddenly, the nostalgia wore off.
I choose to continue “unrecognized” in my Aliso Viejo community and keep my private life, well, private.
I rather be private, even if somehow I ended up been the community chat of the week in a South Chicago grocery store…..
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2 comments:
It's funny how "chisme" is a part of daily life for some communities- or most communities and we've just moved on to a more digital form of it as you state.
Digged the post! :)
Oh my gosh this is too funny! It took me back to the pueblo from where my parents are from. Every December when all the "outsiders" come back for the yearly Fiestas, there is lots of chisme and catching up. I get over that quickly too. I'm with you, I like to have my privacy and have the choice with whom I choose to voluntarily share my life dirt with. Enjoyed your post.
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